Flies bug the hell out of me. I swat. I spray. They keep on coming. And multiplying. They are unbelievably relentless. Where are they coming from? How can I get near Fly Headquarters and fire bomb the place?
I'm not a violent person. I usually don't wish harm to befall anyone. (maybe a little discomfort, but never harm) Except when it comes to flies. The only thing that would make me happier when I nail one of the little suckers with a swatter, is to hear just a little scream. Not overly loud or protracted. I'd just like to know he/she suffered just a little in their last moments.
As trusty as the Fly Swatter is, I've just found a new Weapon of Fly Destruction! It just could become my Weapon of Choice. I'm afraid, though, I've found this marvel a little late. The guy who invented it can't keep up with the orders he has (21,400) and he's suspended sales. Damn!
|Ready, Aim, Shplatt!|
Besides looking like a lot of fun, the ammo is cheap. Table salt. Yes, table salt! (no ATF paper work involved) The inventor says it's "lethal against mosquitoes, spiders and all sorts of irksome insects." Want this. Must have this.
This new "Idol of All Men" had a website loaded with videos and a page notifying you about the backorder status. Oh, they're available in bulk at discounted prices. Really cool for putting together your very own Army of Fly Assassins.