Saturday, October 13, 2012

And now, a word about Helix Aspersa Müller Glycoconjugates

Or, as it's sometimes referred to, The Latest, Greatest Item To Come Along And Grab The Attention Of Eager Ladies Dying To Part With A Chunk Of Cash.

"Nope, too long to put in a cosmetics ad. No female we pitch to in our demographics spectrum will ever finish read it. Besides, it says too much about our end game." said the head of marketing.

"Well, how about we call it by it's name, snail slime?," asked the newly hired market researcher.

"You have got to be kidding me, you naive, noob nobody. This ain't no kids' Halloween candy we're sellin' here," his boss fired back.

"Time Returning Serum," came a voice from the far end of the conference table.

Chilean Snail

Thus was born another in the extensive line of products available from the fine folks at Sephora. Or, so it might have happened. Or, might not have. I made up the dialog. As in fiction. Didn't happen. No need to call Legal.

But the product is real. And the competition is not small when it comes to "gaining marketing share," as the marketing department likes say. The sales department calls it "moving product."

What, you may be asking unless you've clicked one of the links, the hell am I talking (writing) about? Ok, I'll explain...

For at least 15 years, a company in Chile has been very successfully selling, and other companies have been copying or varying, a product intended to heal and repair damaged skin. Like most things, it either works or it doesn't. Depends of who(m) you talk to.

Prices range upward to above $70. And the bottles and jars are not what you call Large Economy Size. I'll leave you with a piece of Latin Wisdom...  Caveat Emptor. (Let the buyer beware.) 


  1. a mud bath, you just go to a spa and let a dozen snails crawl across your face? Then, afterward, you can have them for dinner. Cool!


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